How do you react when you think you need people’s love? Do you become a slave for their approval? Do you live an inauthentic life because you can’t bear the thought that they might disapprove of you? Do you try to figure out how they would like you to be, and then try to become that, like a chameleon? In fact, you never really get their love. You turn into someone you aren’t, and then when they say “I love you,” you can’t believe it, because they’re loving a facade. They’re loving someone who doesn’t even exist, the person you’re pretending to be. It’s difficult to seek other people’s love. It’s deadly. In seeking it, you lose what is genuine. This is the prison we create for ourselves as we seek what we already have.
Good morning to all. I hope that the world, Boston and Texas are now turning their attention to healing and peace. I don’t normally post stuff like this but I was moved to express my thoughts. We live in an interesting world of so many opinions, beliefs and ideas. It’s what makes us Americans. However, let us not forget that we are human. We are passionate and capable of a great deal of compassion. It is what we need in moving forward. We may never know the true reason as to why people think violence is the answer. We, as a human race, are built to do amazing things and one of the most instinctual skills we have is unity/community in the midst of adversity. I don’t always watch the news but when something like what happened at the Boston Marathon and how two men shut down a city like Boston it brings me pause. As I played witness to the turns of events I kept asking, what is the lesson here? What do we need to be aware of as a people? So I am putting out that question to all of you. When I heard the last young man was captured a great sense of relief came over me with an equal amount of sadness because after all he to is human and some where along the line he/they got lost or where they serving a bigger purpose. So I sit here this morning in deep gratitude for those we lost for their exit was not in vain. May we all find the compassion to heal, in a world far too engulfed in righteousness and hate. Let us shine bright in compassion and grace.
I often remind clients to practice the art of not taking things personal. A skill that puts us all in the driver’s seat of our emotions and reactions. I found myself in great remembrance of this skill recently. What do you do when you find yourself at the other end of someones emotional punching bag? Our first instinct is to protect ourselves. How we choose to protect sets the tone. So lets keep that in mind. Do we want to go down the rabbit hole? Most of us do. However, When we practice the art of “not taking things personal” you have a tendency to pause, breath and step back just enough to stay detached and have a clearer perspective as to what is going on. OK, so you must be saying to yourself this is all well and good but how do I do this? There is a key component to this and that is to first figure out what type we are. What I mean by that is:
- Do we get hurt easily?
- Are we reactionary?
- Do we have triggers?
These are some examples. We are all unique so add what applies to you. Once we figure out the type we are we can then work from that knowing. Then of course life will present us with opportunities to practice. So with every situation practice, practice, practice. Before long it will be such a part of you that it will happen instinctively.
In doing this work, I’ve realized that I am type 2( Reactionary). Having that information in my tool bag has certainly helped in most situation. I am human, so I have had less than graceful moments. However, each time it gets better and better. In closing, I would like to thank the person that gave me the opportunity to practice, so that I might be one step closer to self-mastery.
I wish you all enough.
I don’t know if it was the two hour meditation this morning or my will to stop this static that consumes me, but for the first time in a long time, I am feeling hopeful. Can this be the turning point? Or is it trickery just so the fall feels greater? I think I may be in the center of my soul. It is an interesting feeling for I have not been here in some time. I don’t even think these words are my own, but from some far away place that just might be home.