Equal

justiceEvery day I grab a cup of coffee, sit at my computer and search for great quotes about relationships and love. I have noticed that most quotes are spoken from a woman’s point of view even if written by men.

Like this one: “Maybe I’m old-fashioned but to respect the woman you love should be a priority”.

Don’t get me wrong I think this is noble and I do think that most men strive to do just that. But, what about the women that don’t respect the men in their lives?

What about if it said: “Maybe I’m old fashion but respect should be a mutual priority”.

How about this one: “Being a male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age, being a gentleman is a matter of choice.”

What about if it said the opposite: “Being a female is a matter of birth. Being a woman is a matter of age, being a lady is a matter of choice.”

My point with all this is, That men are by no means perfect. However, neither are women. So let us write out quotes that empower both genders or has an equal point of view.

Wolf

By ~ Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche

Many of us are slaves to our minds. Our own mind is our worst enemy. We try to focus, and our mind wanders off. We try to keep stress at bay, but anxiety keeps us awake at night. We try to be good to the people we love, but then we forget them and put ourselves first. And when we want to change our life, we dive into spiritual practice and expect quick results, only to lose focus after the honeymoon has worn off. We return to our state of bewilderment. We’re left feeling helpless and discouraged. It seems we all agree that training the body through exercise, diet, and relaxation is a good idea, but why don’t we think about training our minds?

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CSI: Coaching – Is Your Life a Crime Scene? By Maureen Hewitt

Image   Although I have always been interested in CSI and crime thrillers I never for a moment thought I would end up in a career dealing up close and personal with some serial criminals.  However, looking back over the last 10  years I can see how similar professional  coaching and being a crime scene investigator  actually are.

There is a trail of evidence,  some valuables missing and a very obvious suspect who seems hell bent on avoiding the simple question – “What did you do with your potential?”. Sometimes the suspect in question pretends they  never had any in the first place, some try to blame others for stealing away their opportunity to have any (my parents, the teachers, having children) , some even go so far as to say they ran out of potential, they are finished, fully developed humans and have no room for change! (beware, these are the most at risk to themselves and to others).

I call these ‘potential criminals’.  They don’t always commit the same type of crime – some are career criminals, staying in the same old job year after year totally unsatisfied and underperforming , some are like petty thieves – they steal the dreams and goals of others and never invest in their own future – you can hear them say – “I should have gotten that job”, “I should have married him/her”, “I should have won the lotto not them!”.  Some are very very good at hiding their crimes – they have shiny cars and nice houses and designer suits but underneath it all they are miserable, they are full of self doubt and they beat themselves up for not being happy.

As with any good investigation, you need to gather evidence, study and present the facts

1. When did you see your potential last?

How alive was it ?  a)  very alive        b) barely alive        c) dead as a door nail

2. Put the facts under a microscope?

What were you doing in your past that helped you grow and develop as a person ?

3. Identify the circumstance?

What was going on in your life at that time that motivated you to learn?

4. Figure out how to get it back?

What are you willing to do to continue to learn and wise up?

5. Examine the accountability

If you don’t wise up you will be sentenced to ….

How to avoid a life of crime?

WISE UP, GET UP and SIGN UP for coaching.

Pain is Optional

As the year soon comes to a close, I am pausing to reflect. This past year has surely been one for the books. The epic battle between all that I thought I knew and all that should be came to a head. Stripped down raw, I found myself in the world of emotions and a stand off was on the horizon between the logical me and the irrational, emotional me. The obstacles were personal and painful. There were days that all I could do was feel the pain and embrace it like a long lost lover. I’d asked myself often, how did I end up here?  No answer ever came to light.

Soon enough, life would set the stage where we would have no choice but to collide. Loss, heart break and feelings of faithlessness, frustration, and anger, all dressed me like a well fitted suit. All I wanted was to be in my comfy sweat pants and t-shirt. Every time I tired to take the damn suit off something else would happen to make it fit tighter. I was on edge and wanted relief. I was tired of the emotions and their shenanigans. It wore me out so I conceded. It was a long battle and something needed to change. It was time to find some sort of middle ground with myself. So, I stepped up to irrational, emotional me and said hello. At that very moment, the uncomfortable suit came right off. The moral to this almost year long story:  Resistance is not a sign of strength but a prolonging of the things that no longer serve you. I held on to my rational, logical self because I had experienced enough change and loss. I needed to hang on to something that felt safe and familiar. There is no safety in thinking when all you need to do is feel. This morning as I write this I am aware that the irrational, emotional me is still very present, I’m just not resisting anymore because I’ve learned that pain truly is optional.

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Deer Medicine

Now that I am settled and back in my own space, time to tell you about that story I promised. Those of you who know me, know that for the past year or so I have experienced a great deal of loss. I am not going to go into detail about all that but sure enough these losses and the wife’s health not being great led me into a place I was a stranger to. I am usually optimistic but so much has gone on in such a short period of time leaving me with an abundance of questions and at times, doubt. Despite all of this, I diligently continue my inward work to heal. I wanted to heal from the inside out because my heart is in great need of repair. To look at me no one outside of what I call my secret keeper, knew the true pain my heart has been struggling with. So the story begins. This past week I had the pleasure of house and pet sitting in the most beautiful, quiet place and I took full advantage. It was right smack in the middle of what seemed to be nowhere with overwhelming silence and minimal distraction. Time to do some work. Through out the week I took moments to sit still, listen and bend. Last night was a stormy one and boy do I love storms. I took some time to be in the energy of the storm then I went to bed. At 1:22 am I was awakened my a big rumble and feeling the house shake! I thought for sure it was an earthquake! So I jumped out of bed like some sort of superhero to make sure all was well in the house and with the cats when I realized it was just thunder. The storm was in full swing. I was on my way back to bed when I heard a voice say, “You need to sit outside.” Pause, as I look around as if I am really going to see someone. I am no stranger to random voices calling about but was this voice not aware that I wasn’t in Chicopee but in the woods in Leverett where it’s super dark and did I mention stormy?! I took a breath and went outside. Within seconds I was soaked but the lightning show was amazing. Where should I sit? I wondered as I looked into the darkness. I can honestly say for the first time in my life I knew what fear felt like. But that’s a whole other story. Sorry, I digress. I thought sitting on metal chairs not a good idea with this storm going on, so I sat on the very wet grass which was amazingly soft. I got into a meditative position because as I said earlier I was very scared to be out there in the dark. Quickly, I went deep into a meditative state. What I experience was amazing. However, the details are very personal. Let’s just say a whole lot of healing took place. Shortly after that I felt myself coming back to consciousness and yes the storm is still going strong. I remember saying to myself, I should really open my eyes now. So I did. Never did I expect to see or experience what came next. As I opened my eyes I started to get that feeling, you know the one where you are being watched. Indeed, I was being watched. By three deer. I sat really still just trusting in whatever was to come next. I closed my eyes once again but not before noticing other eyes in the distance. Eyes closed now, I took a deep breath and just sat as still as I could. These deer came so close to me that I could feel their breath on my cheek. Crying was the only appropriate emotion. For the first time in over a year I was finally at peace. My heart was no longer hurting. This was all very foreign to me. I sat in the presence of these magical creatures taking in their medicine for what felt like hours. After a while I finally felt it was time to open my eyes again and there were no deer in sight. I wanted to call out come back old friends but all the healing was done.

The universe is a vibrant magical place and I tend to dwell in the in between space where nothing and everything live. Today I was healed, loved, honored and respected and most of all reminded of my divine birth right to be alive, at peace.

Deer Spirit Symbols:

Gentleness, Kindness, Compassion, Innocence, Motherhood, Grace, Femininity, Swiftness, Peace, Subtlety, Adventure, Psychic Power, Awareness, Renewal, Acceptance, Connection to Spirit

Ask yourself important questions. Are you trying to force things? Are others? Are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? When deer appear they are symbols of an opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you. Use methods other than force to achieve goals, be led to adventure or spiritual knowledge. Accept others for who they are and don’t try to change them. If you’ve seen a Stag totem this power animal will guide you to strength and a renewal of your energies

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The Year

The year of letting go, of understanding loss, grace, of the word ‘no’ and also being able to say ‘you are not kind’. The year of humanity/humility. When the whole world couldn’t get out of bed. Everyone I’ve met this year, says the same thing ‘you are so easy to be around, how do you do that?’. The year i broke open and dug out all the rot with my own hands. The year i learnt small talk. and how to smile at strangers. The year i understood that i am my best when i reach out and ask ‘do you want to be my friend?’. The year of sugar, everywhere, softness, sweetness, honey honey. The year of being alone, and learning how much i like it. The year of hugging people i don’t know, because i want to know them. The year i made peace and love, right here.~ Warsan ShireImage